There is something cathartic about writing. Like a musician or artist, written word is a creative release. Unlike the musician or artist, however, cryptic meaning here is a little more difficult. Facing the potential for future embarrassment is a huge part of the process, and also the fear in clicking “Publish”. Carrying with this action the same worry many artists feel when releasing new work. I once heard that musicians often later loathe the request to play their past songs to crowds who are stuck in the artists’ past. The Yoga cover next to me with Alanis Morrissett contorting her body in ways I never imagined only supports this theory that she no longer appreciates popping the Jagged Little Pill.
“Sharing is caring,” according to the blogger applet logging in here. This seems true. So how does one share without a very large element of long-winded narcissism? The need to find myself with a better understanding of the difference, and ultimately looking for a greater absence of the latter, is a growing point of interest. With it, the desire for more discretion, humility, objectivity, and reason which requires a practice in faith. Not the deity kind of faith, but a personal and rational faith rooted in practice and experience. Confidence in the power of my ability to be silent and observe, and in my thought, reason, judgment, and boundaries.
Faith is significant to any friendship or love, when we loose this, with it goes the incredible importance of our reliability. Opinions change, of course, but the basic personal motivation of “I” should remain the same. It is the core, and without this faith I become shackled and dependent on the approval of others to form feelings of identity. Only one who has rooted faith in their core is able to give this same faith to others. Love and faith are then directly linked, and both personal and then shared.
In searching for my ability to give love to myself, and then others, I have to more clearly define this fundamental part of me and then keep practicing. Finding a whole faith. This means this post, and finding more potential in me. Attempting to be productive in the sharing, to finally live out my faith in as many moments as possible, to be courageous in that endeavor. Releasing personal fear, even sometimes going against the grain of much of what I was taught by telling my story. Trying the completely new. An additional practice of all of the above, learning the fine art of holding on and letting go.