Hey Jude…

Dear John,

if I were your Jesus
you’d be my Judas
kiss me on the cheek
you foul


I write letters to God and make biblical references to life, then make God the devil’s advocate for a final chapter in this Bible of my life called Selah. This is not normal human behavior and sometimes this seems way more than it seems. Other times I feel so small and wonder what this all means. Either way, it’s rad to come back here again and again to a healthy release for the mind’s stories.

Fluid, this writing is as fluid as my gender. As is my everyday life here, just a few blocks from the beach, sunset after beautiful sunset. Walking the Sky, you show me pictures of the ocean each day and I wonder how we all got so lucky as to live in paradise. #Everydaysrad.

Even in paradise, I woke up this morning feeling pretty sick and needing a hug. Like a good solid hug where I’m the little spoon. Lying there for a while and wishing for this hug, I found Sky on my bed. Usually he doesn’t sleep on my bed, but this morning he must have needed a hug too.

Hugging Sky leads me to a question I have been pondering, and the topic: visioning and manifesting future connections. Presently, I have a plural amount of men and women in my life, a few of whom have expressed genuine interest in being my morning hugger. Considering all this, it’s true that someday I want a best friend who wants to sleep in bed with me a bit more than every once in a while.

This hugger? I still haven’t met this man, or perhaps I did already and we are just not right for each other at present. In any case of right versus wrong…

I vision relationships where we both feel a deep connection. Painting that picture in my mind, he is a carpenter-type with his hands. He has miraculous abilities to pull puzzles apart, then put them back together. We are best friends and we have a lot in common, which means he is drug free, he likes to get outside in nature and he genuinely loves to sing or play live music. A high-performance machine, he is also as calm as a cucumber.

I hope
this is not too much to ask,
but all I want for Christmas
is the carpenter-type

~ Selah


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