Test: 20210224:04:23 Do you know?

Test: 20210224:04:23

Do you ever wonder why people keep coming back to you? to this?

I do. I wonder why you are here and why you keep coming back, do you know?

Do you know?

Do you really know?

Is it for the hope of someOne great inside of all of this?

Is it for the storytelling?

Is it for the sex?

Is it for the life inside?

Is it for how it moves you to think?

Do you know?

I do because I’m the author. I come back here to write about my day in stranger ways than I ever knew I could. I live here in God knows where and believe for these moments that there is one Spirit channeling in and through me. My light source and version of God.

When the laptop shuts down, I am mostly just plain old Stephanie again. This secret author that many people have described as kind, confident and cool as a cucumber most of the time. Like you, I am getting older too and sometimes I wonder if I am going to be OK with my health. I also have a voice that moves big mountains in small men. I love me(n) and you.

What does that mean? I’m not sure, but Self-love aside this week was a rough one. I think we’ve all had those weeks. Yesterday, my neighbor Mike told me a story that put “rough” in perspective. The punch line was that he is a lawyer and life is significantly harder for some, so if the worst part about his day is a bad juice choice, he’s got a beautiful life.

Me too.

Some days I just ask, did my socks match today?

That question doesn’t mean to belittle the significant amount of crying that occurred this week. All the episodes surrounding my emotions about a life at work. Sometimes the moments feel so heavy that I have to step away to ground myself. These stories swirl and churn in my head. Blech.

Do I ever wonder why I keep coming back here? to this?

I do. I wonder why I am here and why I keep coming back to write for me and you, do you know?

Do you know?

Do you really know?

Is it for the hope of someOne great inside of all of this?

Is it for the storytelling?

Is it for the sex?

Is it for the life inside?

Is it for how it moves you to think?

Do you know?

I do.

It’s to be

                 with You.

For a moment.

When we connect.

Are we connecting?

Does this make sense?

Probably not. In logical terms anyway. Poetry is a strange bird. Writing in whatever way a real Bird would.

But this is it really. This is all there is for me. This is my ‘I do’ that I gave my life. Words in a journal. One voice that is allowed to say aloud whatever the heart desires in this one religion of One.

Birdanity……….

[She knows].

the truth

& it

did not

set her free.

~Selah

 

2 responses

  1. While I don’t know why “people” come back here, I can tell you why I come back.

    It’s for the hope. As someone who’s also searching for the brief moments of light and clarity, I come here to see what you’ve found, see if any of your words, phrases, or paragraphs spark in me a nod that yes, there is hope. I often smile, shake my head, nod in agreement . . . and feel less alone on the path. There are many people “out there” slogging through days looking for meaning in any nook or cranny they can find. And if not meaning . . . then hope.

    I’m also here, at least today, seeking any reason to feel good. As a pet lover, you’ll certainly understand . . . we lost our longtime companion, Oreo, yesterday at the old age of 13. Too many illnesses took him away, leaving a void that for an evening was filled with tears. Thus, a today spent looking for a smile, looking for a bit of meaning, looking for . . . . hope. There it is again.

    So that’s why I’m here, again and again.

    Oh, and for the snacks. Mmmmmm . . . .

    Like

    • I wish I could reply back with more than this…but every time I write, at least today, it doesn’t feel “good” (if that makes sense). Know that I love you, Brian! and thank you SO much for being so kind to me 🙂

      Like

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