Test:20180330:04:40 – I forgive (we)(me)(You).

“Do you love me?

Do you love me?

Do you love me?”

Forgiveness?!?!?

You want ME to forgive you?!

You want ME?!…

To remember you?

I will forgive you, but I will never forget (until I do). I will never forget these scars you caused me. I will never forget all the pages of spaces and moments where I hurt. I will never forget you for all those stories that damn it, they just fucking hurt, inside and out. I have the scars to prove it and this fear is cancerous if I don’t let it go.

Pain is a bitch, isn’t it? or is it an asshole? I’m not sure, but it’s no fun to feel resentment and you are right, you owed me an apology because we (i) owe you an apology too.

We are sorry, I am sorry that we went so long without really communicating with each other.

Just breath. Exhale. I forgive you, and if you forgive me?

“Do you love me?

Do you love me?

Do you love me?”

Those were the questions we were all asked. It was as simple as these:

Do you love him?

Do you love her?

Me two, I imagine.

Inside, I love them both too. I love all of me inside, both – two. I love Dr Seuss and these two genders of Atoms of Adams that split into an Eve. Though I appear to be all woman, this Eve is almost 100% female-looking 100% of the time, BUT I am NOT 100% female. Still, with these tits and that ass… I look a lot like a girl. I am called “she” all the time. ALL THE TIME, it’s a constant reminder that I am a wo(/)man!

This little girl inside, well there is a little boy in there too. He is also in this 37 years old skin they named Stephanie (MarY) Bird. All my ages, they are all right there inside at every moment and I can channel any one of these names or ages and still remember what it was, or is, to have been Stephanie. Not Jesus, not God, just a little girl they called “StephYwephY”.

A stephy who will die as an older genderless human. One we renamed Selah instead. ‘I’ can re-program this human here, after all this – she deserves a new name, God love her.

I forgive her because…

‘Jesus’ (her Jesus) (his Jesus) died on the cross of her own shame and they lived again inside that genderless human. Then, I performed miracles when I took her first breath. I was born of a woman, I will die as a woman, or something like that old story where Jesus was my prophet and I channeled that Son instead of the Daughter of Good Friday.

I forgive…<repeat>

~Selah/Stephanie/SMB

“Do you love me?

Do you love me?

Do you love me?”

p.s We are living proof that grace wins

every time when we forgive

and stop staring at those

fucking scars…

Jesus?

IMG_0178 2

You_are_in-mY-blood.

_lunatic*ROAR*no.

-You_are!

with,

~me.

 

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