Test: 20180402:07:04 – STOP writing?

A note to my fellow humans to tell them that you are all BIG fat jerks:

TOO, I know I am not supposed to write this out loud, but J_____ and I argued yesterday about how he felt that I “stole” his book that he lent me a few months ago. His $1K precious book that all the sudden became important to him to have back yesterday. Then, after he claimed I was a thief, we argued about how he “raped” me several weeks ago when he touched me sexually again after I told him verbally not to touch me there. We argued through text and it got heated. They were dramatic words, it was extremely painful and I let him have it with my all fingers and this One voice. Today, I still believe that it’s men like these “guys” who have lead me to the conclusion that abstinence is the safest form of sexual harmony.

Three cheers for sacred love!?! I’m not sure how else to feel safe in this body of One…

Here’s the simple truth: Yesterday is over. None of these men did me any real harm beyond some touching and excommunication. I’m still breathing. They just did and said some really hurtful and mean things (to me). They even wrote some public things about their experiences and experiments with me. I was an experiment that went wrong, then I was excommunicated.

Yesterday is over?

I hope so. I’m so tired of feeling like the Earth: raped of my resources, my time, and my love. I am tired, God. I am dying slowly, you are watching these rapes happen and yet you do…. nothing? Perhaps I am extreme, but this is my journal where I am allowed to be extremely hurt inside about how men are treating me still. This is the place where I can tell you that I have been raped over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over. Just like this mother Earth that I love. Just like this father Earth that I hate. I was raped over and over and over and over and over again when they had no idea how to hear “no” and “STOP!” and follow through on what I needed – abstinence (from sex).

Hunters…………….

God? Please…?

no more hunt..

~Stephanie

p.s I had your back, and did you have mine 100% of the time? Where were you when I needed you, God? Where are you?!?

(Not it!)

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: