Only me?

Only me…Waking this morning, I realize that I did it again. I fell asleep with the lights on and I have to confess for just a moment that I wondered if waking up with the lights on anymore really matters to anyone. Only me?

That’s what I thought, only me cares. Only me worries that I keep waking up with the lights on and only me forgot to brush my teeth last night before bed. Only me?

Only me, that’s write folks, only me cares about my silly light and my fancy teeth. Only my mouth is decaying piece by lovely peace. Only me worries about these possibilities of cancer under my skin and that decay. It’s only my life here in Cardiff that feels like it’s foundationally shaking to display all these gaping cracks filled with empty spaces in between. Only me?

Only me did the write or wrong thing this week and quit my job of many moons. Only me did the write? thing this week when I told a few of my “friends” that they need to help pay for my emergency room visit from a few weeks ago. Only me was the person they hurt, and so much so that I felt a heart attack. Only me?

Only me is a peacefully meditative personality most of the time with a highly sensitive persona (HSP). Only me use to attend my local DBSA meetings where I both confessed and connected with others, and only me is hiding that story in between these other paragraphs and sentences about? You guessed it, only me. Only me?

Only me counsels and leads people to knowledge? No way, and it’s also not me this morning who forgot how to spell the word “counsel”. As a counselor and friend, people tell me these stories like mine too. Stories about energy shifts in the Universe that they perceive. Maybe it’s only me who is hearing these stories. Maybe they are just trying to explain away our collective crazy. Maybe it’s only me that is truly the sane and honest one here about that collective consciousness. Maybe, but I read all your journals online too and I doubt it’s just me. Only me?

Only me? nah, I doubt it. You are here too, ya know and you say you “like me”. You would probably turn the light out for me if you could. You would remind me to brush my teeth, and you would even read my journal of a blog of a story of a book of a life. You’d probably “like” me every day if you could, but you have a life too. What’s so neat about not needing to be write for you everyday is knowing that You love me everyday regardless (and that’s not weird at all if we haven’t met). Still, it’s nice to know that it’s not…Only me?


Only me is waiting?

It’s only an apology?


did you record all of that?!?

wait, that could be embarassing?

with only my confession on record?

Only me? Only me? Only me? Only me?

~Steph Bird


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