Here i gOooo…

Creating things? I.t.s healing to me. It’s white and blackbird of me. It’s artistic, autistic, and BEautifully uniquely “me”. This is Card#One of Birdanity Deck#One titled “Take My Hand 🤚 & RUN 🏃‍♀️ 🏃 ♪( ´θ`)”

Secret? I made it when I was trying to figure out my heart conditioning. It’s when I was healing from the last heart break. It’s ARTfully weird?


“Take my hand 🤚 and run 🏃 🏃‍♀️”

<Ka!Ka!🦅 >

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Oh, Birdanity…

What a day, I don’t even know where to begin. I wasn’t able to go into work today as I’m not feeling well, and oddly enough my mind is actively engaged in nesting. Nesting and nestling myself further into Cardiff-by-the-Sea, I’m also ready to fly away from this oasis of a place that is my space in time.

I love California.

It isn’t just my space though, there are a lot of other people around me in this heavenly city. A lot of humans, neighbors and friends. One of them messaged me just today and asked me if I wanted to give him a BJ. It’s weird when friends do that, but some might say that’s just the nature of the beasts who I run with.

I keep dreaming about Big Sur lately, and really a vacation from my life would be pretty spectacular right now. It’s almost like everything is going to be OK for a long time, and because it’s been months now since I started feeling “like me”. Months and months where and when I feel this massively creative euphoria.

I have been explosive expressive, and even intense in sandy grit and “self esteam”. These words hit me like a tidal wave, except it’s a Title Wave and they are creative to say the least. In any case, I need to stop creating title waves for a while and I’m not even sure I’m ready for a wave.

Come to think of it? Maybe these oceans are what is causing this intense swing of emotional creativity. Having lived in Cardiff for over a year now and California for four +, maybe I need to seek stiller waters. I’m not sure, but I have been getting sick and I’m not sure yet what to do, but say:


And who cares really. Me + Sky = that’s the simple truth. Sky just wants to be near me and perhaps that’s enough love in life, I guess..

~Steph Bird

“Follow your bliss and the Universe will open up doors for you where there were only walls.”

~Joseph Campbell







The Beginning

This is it, my first book about my life. Right now, it fits into the palm of my hand and it reflect’s my image. There is only one version of that reflection, the original. “Me”.

Presently, I am the only one that feels this Birdanity book is worth it’s weight in gold. My weight, which is about 13? pounds of all that I am worth = nothing really (and priceless).

What i want to write about from every beginning is who I have been and how I got here. I seek to understand. I seek love, hate, education about love and compassion to feel.

What I don’t know about is the future for you. But, I still want to believe that I am the creator of my future. In this vein, I have decided to write a little differently than I ever have before.

This book continues then with the end in mind. I want to write about who I will meet (again), the relationship(s) I will have, and even the way I want to die. I want to imagine a different life than I have ever known before, believing a faith that I feel for the images in my head. I want to believe in big ways, larger than a tiny mustard seed.

With that, let’s just flip to the back of this Birdanity book and write the last few chapters. Perhaps even the last entry of this book because who knows if I will have time for more chapters or even whether I will wake up tomorrow.

Before I tell you that story though, I am going to sit in quiet for a time and dream about a future where I’m pretty certain you will be there and we will (all) be love(d) in The End.


The End

After I saw _______, I felt healed. All that came before him in that legacy book was lost in my memory banks. Only drawing from those stories when I need to tap into my savings account, withdrawals are rare though and encouraged.

Before we met, I was afraid that he didn’t really exist and because for 37 years I searched for someone just like him. State to state, name after name, I tried a lot of stories to find the right size of human for me.

He was the one who fit my constellation and we loved each other as the sun contrasts the moon. The moment we locked eyes, he took the dominant role in our vibrant connection and I played the supporting one. He came over, he hugged me, he asked for my new # and he even wanted to act like children. Children like Us.

He was beautiful on the inside and out, so gorgeous that I worry I dreamed him up and I will wake up to find he is missing again. But after all our years together and creating lovely weirdos just like us, he still wakes up next to me as happy as he ever was. I feel that happy too, loving this hu/man who loves me as he does.

I knew I was making the right decision when I said “yes” after he asked me that pop question. There was no question in my mind that our lives would last a lifetime of commitments. We worked hard to lovingly die together as two happy “soulmates” should. *Blech*

He still laughs at how emotional and dramatic I can become, and he makes me laugh too. He seems to know the right thing to say to calm me down and help me find the “right” way of letting go of that old drama we share.

It’s incredible to think of who I have become with him. Committed to exercise of all the senses, I am clean and balanced. Puffing my peace pipe and pouring my time each day into the love I feel for family and “work” in this universal life.

“A small lucky package is on it’s way to see you soon,” says our fortune, and why not agree? Let the luck keep on coming, spreading through our bodies and oozing into the people we love. Namely partners, family and friends.

It’s almost the end of this love life as we know it, when and where we often forget our own number, or even how to write down memories of all those days when I held judgment for who I was from The Beginning.

from Beginning_to_End


~Stephan/ie Bird

~Steph/an Bird