I had a whole story to tell you this morning, but I suppose the real reason that I write to you all is grace. I even want compassion and love for my own story. That’s the simple truth, except I don’t want to tell stories anymore to receive that grace and I don’t want to beg. I just want that feeling to run through you unconditionally when we meet again, if we do..

Attempting to gracefully write everyday about unconditional love, I really DO get that I have not been graceful with everyone. I’ve written whole short stories about how truly ungraceful I can be. After considering those stories and applying the above text from A Course in Miracles, in just two paragraphs I am humbled and brought to my knees by all the child-like mischief and stories.

Today, this post in the sand of my time is for me as much as it is for you because to be honest, I will probably read it more than a few times today to remind me that it can only be but myself that I crucify

  • When I wrote “bad” online reviews for “old companies” that sent peace officers to my home, it can only be but myself that I crucified.
  • When I wrote some truly “horrible” things about others and their own health habits, it can only be but myself that I crucified.
  • When I wrote how truly painful all those emotions felt inside, then got dramatic as I excommunicated others from my life, it can only be but myself that I crucified.

That’s the simple lesson isn’t it = It can only be but myself that I crucify. Even everyday I clicked publish on these real-life stories that you will probably never read again. This one must be for you because you are reading it for the limited edition version that it is.

Lately, I am filtering through everything that I have ever written. It’s weird to see my own stories in all this priceless poetic jibberish with little to no value. Sure, there were a lot 0′ likes on some of those old posts and even some really great comments of support, but what was that all worth?

At the time, it was priceless (to me). Random loved ones ‘likes’ and support helped me to understand that I wasn’t alone in this online journal called a Cloud. When people at least agreed with me, I felt appreciated for being vulnerable. And, I’m not sure that those old agreements have as much value today because who knows if we still agree.

Those beautiful stories don’t feel of much value to anyone either. Thus, all the stories that were once available to you here are gone today and that’s just the way it’s probably going to be for a lifetime of limited edition art. Priceless stories that can only be mine, and it is but myself that I crucify.

Steph Bird


Lesson 20180714:

It can be but myself I crucify..

  1. When it is firmly understood and kept in full awareness, you will not attempt to harm yourself, nor make your body slave to vengeance. You will not attack yourself, and you will realize that to attack another is but to attack yourself. You will be free of the insane belief that to attack a brother saves yourself. And you will understand his safety is your own, and in his healing you are healed.
  2. Today’s idea is one step we take in leading us from bondage to the state of perfect freedom. Let us take this step today, that we may quickly go the way salvation shows us, taking every step in it’s appointed sequence, as the mind relinquishes its burdens one by one. It is not time we need for this. It is but willingness.For what would seem to need a thousand years can easily be done just one instant by the grace of God.




Researchers have discovered that oxytocin — a hormone associated with expression, touch, hugging, maternal nurturing, social attachments, childbirth and sex — is also indispensable for healthy muscle maintenance and repair.

After a serious injection of human-produced oxytocin, personally I have a feeling of repatriation since this Fourth of July weekend. Magic happened after all those fireworks and with it came this feeling of renewed openness to loving this writing (and even filling out a bit more legal paperwork).

IMG_4296Personally and professionally there are these legal applications, business models, staging and plans. I am building from “the ground floor” and there is no where to go, but up. This floor is also often part of a bed:room.

I filtered through all the beautiful things here and that I could do with this life, then found a need for more love in “mine“. This Birdanity publication is “that” story and honestly, the agreements I made here created this miracle of a brain (and that of partners brains even).

Developing these partnerships and Bird mind has also become a Birdanity business plan and document with a PO Box and a physical address even. It’s even those “old” parts that I never want to see again. Drafts and “remainders” (as artists call them) sit in the background of my time, close to the trash bin. There are thousands of old stories that you don’t see here anymore, thousands of pieces of art that I named:

621B1C12-7546-4303-B731-FBBFCBA3792CMatthew – the EX “SALES GUY”
Mark – the EX “PASTOR”
Luke – the EX “ACCOUNTANT”
John – the EX: “BAPTISER”

These “men” were the “biggest assholes” of the last several months our Bible time and that’s not even their “real” names. All those men and their gender-specific training have become the very essence of this life’s work. Every day since 2013, I described and published what I did and even what I am willing to do to find a neutral book around here.

It’s also about what I did as a professor to a lot of executive professionals in the past. A certified adult educator since 2013, there is a great story to tell about how I am a really phenomenal teacher sometimes. Even when that doesn’t seem like the best legal case to bet on. I’ll sit at the table again with you and only blink like this cursor does when I write…


Write, as a teacher today I focus this life’s work on one simple word and a chemical equation called oxytocin.


OXYTOCIN = +/- = induced by,

  • touch,
  • hugging,
  • singing,
  • laughter,
  • meditation,
  • writing,
  • community and last but perhaps part of all of the least of these
  • ART!…


Oxytocin is a hormone secreted by the posterior lobe of the pituitary gland, a pea-sized structure at the brain’s base. It’s sometimes known as the “cuddle hormone” or the “love hormone,” because it is released when people snuggle up or bond socially. Even playing with your dog can cause an oxytocin surge, according to a 2009 study published in the journal Hormones and Behavior.

Oxytocin can also intensify memories of bonding gone bad, such as in cases where men have poor relationships with their mothers. It can also make people less accepting of people they see as outsiders. In other words, whether oxytocin makes you feel cuddly or suspicious of others depends on the environment and your feelings in that space.

IMG_5314Oxytocin in feminine

Oxytocin is a particularly important hormone for women. “Oxytocin is a peptide produced in the brain that was first recognized for its role in the birth process, and also in nursing,” said Larry Young, a behavioral neuroscientist at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia.

The hormone causes uterine contractions during labor and helps shrink the uterus after delivery. When an infant suckles at his or her mother’s breast, the stimulation causes a release of oxytocin, which, in turn, orders the body to “let down” milk for the baby to drink.

Oxytocin also promotes mother-child bonding. Studies show that “female rats find pups to be aversive if [the females are] virgins,” Young told Live Science. “But once they give birth, the brain is transformed, so they find the pups irresistible,” he said. And similar findings are seen in humans.

A 2007 study published in the journal Psychological Science found that the higher a mom’s oxytocin levels in the first trimester of pregnancy, the more likely she was to engage in bonding behaviors such as singing to or bathing her baby.

Although maternal bonding may not always be hardwired — after all, human females can adopt babies and take care of them — oxytocin released during pregnancy “does seem to have a role in motivation and feelings of connectedness to a baby,” Young said. Studies also show that interacting with a baby causes the infant’s own oxytocin levels to increase, he added.

img_5948Oxytocin in masculine

In men, as in women, oxytocin facilitates bonding. Dads who got a boost of oxytocin via a nasal spray played more closely with their 5-month-old babies than dads who didn’t get the hormone zap, a 2012 study found. There is also another hormone called vasopressin that plays a role in men.

Another study found that men in relationships given a burst of oxytocin spray stood farther away from an attractive woman than men who weren’t given any oxytocin. Single men didn’t see any effect from the hormone, suggesting oxytocin may work as a fidelity booster for guys who are already bonded with another woman.

This anti-social effect of a social hormone brings some nuance to the story of oxytocin. In one study, researchers found that Dutch students given a snort of the hormone became more positive about fictional Dutch characters, but were more negative about characters with Arab or German names. Researchers also reported in January 2011 in the journal PNAS that oxytocin’s social bonding effects are targeted at whomever a person perceives as part of their in-group or their “family”.


In another study, published in PNAS in 2010, men were given a dose of oxytocin and asked to write about their mothers. Those with secure relationships described their moms as more caring after the hormone dose. Those with troubled relationships actually saw their mothers as less caring. The hormone may help with the formation of social memories, according to the study researchers, so a whiff strengthens previous associations, whether good or bad.

“My view of what oxytocin is doing in the brain is making social information more salient,” Young said. “It connects brain areas involved in processing social information — whether it’s sights, faces, sounds or smells — and helps link those areas to the brain’s reward system.”

Additional resources

American Psychological Association: The Two Faces of Oxytocin
University of California Berkeley: ‘Trust Hormone’ Oxytocin Helps Old Muscle Work Like New, Study Finds

The healthy muscle tissue on the left is from a young mouse. The ability of muscle to repair itself decreases with age, as evidenced by the middle image of old muscle tissue, which shows a lower density of muscle fibers, increased scar tissue and inflammation. The addition of oxytocin to the blood of old mice rapidly rejuvenates the old muscle, as shown on the right. (Photos by Wendy Cousin and Christian Elabd, UC Berkeley)

Physical Benefits of Singing

4AAC9604-F937-4E6E-B642-471BBD793345.JPEGPhysical Benefits of Singing

Singing strengthens the immune system

We have known for centuries that singing is beneficial, and scientists have also provided clear documentation of the health benefits. According to one study from the University of Frankfurt, singing definitely boosts the immune system. The study included testing professional choir members’ blood before and after an hour-long rehearsal singing Mozart’s “Requiem”. The researchers noticed that in most cases, the amount of proteins in the immune system that function as antibodies, known as Immunoglobulin A, were significantly higher immediately after the rehearsal. The same increases were not observed after the choir members passively listened to music.

Singing is a workout

For many, including the young, elderly, disabled, and injured, singing can be an excellent form of exercise. Even if you’re healthy, your lungs will get a workout as you employ proper singing techniques and vocal projections. Other related health benefits of singing include a stronger diaphragm and stimulated overall circulation. Since you pull in a greater amount of oxygen while singing than when doing many other types of exercise, some even believe that singing can increase your aerobic capacity and stamina.

Singing improves your posture

While we all seek a perfect posture, we know perfection is not a life:time pursuit as our bodies age we need to understand that we are who we are. Standing up straight is also part of correct technique if you’re singing while standing, so with time, good posture will become a habit! As your chest cavity expands and your shoulders and back align, you’re improving your posture overall.

Singing helps with sleep

According to a health article in Daily Mail Online, experts believe singing can help strengthen throat and palate muscles, which helps stop snoring and sleep apnea. If you’re familiar with these ailments, you know how difficult it can be to get a good night’s sleep!

Psychological & Emotional Benefits of Singing

Singing is a natural anti-depressant

Singing is known to release endorphins, the feel-good brain chemical that makes you feel uplifted and happy. In addition, scientists have identified a tiny organ in the ear called the sacculus, which responds to the frequencies created by singing. The response creates an immediate sense of pleasure, regardless of what the singing sounds like. Not only that, but singing can simply take your mind off the day’s troubles to boost your mood.

Singing lowers stress levels

Making music in any form is relaxing. Singing releases stored muscle tension and decreases the levels of a stress hormone called cortisol in your blood stream.

Singing improves mental alertness

Improved blood circulation and an oxygenated blood stream allow more oxygen to reach the brain. This improves mental alertness, concentration, and memory. The Alzheimer’s Society has even established a “Singing for the Brain” service to help people with dementia and Alzheimer’s maintain their memories.

Social Benefits of Singing

Singing can widen your circle of friends

Whether you’re in a choir or simply enjoy singing karaoke with your friends, one of the unexpected health benefits of singing is that it can improve your social life. The bonds you form singing with others can be profound, since there’s a level of intimacy naturally involved.

Singing boosts your confidence

Stage fright is a common feeling for new singers. However, performing well and receiving praise from your friends and family may be the key to eventually overcoming your fears and boosting your self-confidence. With time, you may even find it easier to present any type of material in front of a group with poise and good presentation skills.

Singing broadens communication skills

According to an article in The Guardian, singing to babies helps prepare their brains for language. Music is just as important as teaching reading and writing at a young age to prevent language problems later in life. If you enjoy writing your own lyrics, honing this talent can improve your ability to communicate in different ways!

Singing increases your ability to appreciate other singers

Sometimes, you don’t realize how difficult something is until you try it yourself. As you grow from an amateur to an intermediate student and beyond, you’ll be looking to the masters for inspiration. You might even find a new style of music to appreciate that you wouldn’t normally listen to!

The delights of singing go beyond merely enjoying the beauty of your own vocal talent. All of these health benefits of singing may make you want to join a choir or start taking voice lessons (with me) right away! If so, don’t hesitate to get started with singing meditations – have fun with it, and do you what you enjoy!




SomeOne was looking at my scars when researching me yesterday. They popped open this world wide web and *PoOF* there is parts of my personal story in black and white. Many of the years and the pages of my book are right here, just for You and the world to see. Someday, maybe, I will stop being so transparent.

The thing about this writing thing is that it is translucent, transparent and transgender. It is freedom of speech and as much as people may want to deny that I exist, I am still here. I am still breathing and I still have One voice.

Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am right, or maybe we are all write and we ala see these weapons that we both hold in our belts. They are wordy weapons of mass destruction when prohibited from expression. When people don’t say what they need to say, we may become weapons of destruction.

My goal is peace. Looking at these scars, I realize the worst pain of a lifetime’s worth of scars is that love is pain too. Love is arguments and violence and protests about that violence. It’s scars and sometimes, we need to express it because there is beauty there too.

~Stephan:ie Bird,

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